Tomato fighting

Wednesday 26/08/09

 

So I am fully aware that the bus to Bunyol leaves at 7am sharp. Yet I am (unsurprisingly) the last one on the bus, woken for the second time by a fone call screaming at me, then having to chase the fucking bus down the street.

 

Pass out on bus, wake up at bunyol (still drunk). No money of course, scab off ryan all day – we eat morcilla bocadillos and drink enourmous beers.

There ar like 40 000 people in this tiny village with tinuy streets, all centred around a giant greasy pole, topped with a huge leg of ham. The aim (of course), is to climb this ridiculous pole (ostensibly by standing on other people) and steal the ham from the top. It is impossible but everyone is drunk and has a go anyway.

 

Other funny things that happened whilst waiting for the giant tomato-filled trucks to arrive –

 

1. The urination incident.

I need to piss quite soon after arriving, however we have garnered prime position in the centre of the throng. There is no way out. I am trapped. And it is becoming uncomfortable. I am going crazy with the strain on my bladder. It is intense. Eventually I give in and do the only thing possible. I drain the last of my giant beer (in a giant plastic cup, a good 600ml), tuck it surreptiously under my t shirt, and relieve myself. Oh god it feels good. Yes, yes, yes…no – the cup isn’t big enough!!! Fuck. I accidentally piss on the person in front of me. Haha I say sorry, I spilt my beer. Oops.

I gingerly place cup on ground and sneak away.

I am forced to do this again later, and even inspire an American bloke we meet to do the same. He neglects to be as sneaky as me however, and draws disgusted comments from all and sundry.

 

2. The episode of the bald man.

This guy is like 40, English, a bogan, drunk and angry. Oh and he is like 6 foot and about 120 kg.

He is pushing people, grabbing girls, spilling everyone’s beer. I decide enough is enough. I am to free the people from this tyrant. I shall be their saviour. From the relative safety of 2 people behind him, I reach over, hold my half full beer 6 inches above his head, and look around questioningly to the stricken crowd.

Does he want it? I yell.

There is a responding yell of affirmation.

The die is cast.

I upend the amber nectar all over the fat bitches head, quickly disposing of my beer cup.

Ah\\ha.

He turns in wet dripping beery fury. Everyone is laughing.

He has no idea who to blame…so starts pushing everyone around him.

The crowd is exuberant though, and start to push back, quelling him into submission.

Mission accomplished.

 

Eventually a cry of “To-Ma-Tina!” goes up. The trucks push through the crowd and the world turns red. Insanity descends. I am up close and extremely personal with strangers. I have tomato in my ears, up my arse, in my mouth. I am coated from hair to toenails. I lose my new sunglasses, my dignity, my mind and all my friends. It is messy but fun

 

I get lost walking back to the bus as well, go the complete wrong way, STILL drunk and tired and smelly and red. I manage to nearly miss the bus back as well.

Pass out once home.

 

Awake fully convinced I’ve slept for like a whole day and missed the big party.

NO!

Feel better, but rectify that with a beer (and a loooong shower)

Head to the beach again, different bars.

 

At first once form a posse with a few and get uproariously drunk. Break camera. Fall over twice, stumble to next bar, a giant open air place, quite cool really. More beers, dancing, pick up a girl called Nicole (yes, I got her name this time, and double yes, she isn’t a dwarf!)

Ryan manges to get into a fight with the bouncers AND with some dodgy drug dealers he offended. Amazing. Plus he didn’t pick up hehe – letting the ball come onto the bat is judged the superior technique.